so, come on.
Just one more text, he tells himself. One more foolish, desperate attempt to ease the pain. One more miracle. It is blind and it is hopeless, but he sends it nonetheless.
Just come home. - JW
In a year and a half, John has never truly expected a reply; nor has he received one. He is surprised to feel his phone vibrate. When he sees who it’s from, he is stunned breathless. When he reads the message, he is absolutely paralyzed, and time stands still.
I already have. Now, it’s your turn. - SH
He thinks of the ways he could be losing his mind. He ponders the probability of it being a lie; a cruel trick. Disbelief nearly sinks his short-lived hope.
His phone screen lights up again, and John reads the new message.
Be at 221B in fifteen minutes; no exceptions. I’ll be waiting. - SH
He thinks of the ways Sherlock is extraordinary. He ponders the probability of him being alive; an impossible truth.
He closes his eyes with a shaky sigh and remembers every word Sherlock ever said, and everything he ever did, and every moment they had; and John remembers that he will always believe in him.
The answer comes to him so swiftly that he nearly stumbles as he stands. He throws off his white work coat with wild abandon and deliberately leaves his cane leaned against his desk. His heart pounds and his mind races and he knows, somehow, that this is real, and Sherlock is alive, and he is waiting at home; finally giving him one more miracle.
John has never run faster in his life.
“Caring is not an advantage.”
i want you so
i can’t let go
for i lose control
Make This Go On Forever - A Johnlock Soundtrack
Charlie Brown - Coldplay
Light a fire, light a spark.
Light a fire, a flame in my heart.
We’ll run wild; we’ll be glowing in the dark.
We’ll be glowing in the dark.
Love You Anyway - Boyzone
It’s so incredibly hard to love you, but I love you anyway.
Every time I try too hard not to love you, I love you anyway.
I don’t get it - I really don’t get it.
Tried to walk away but my feet won’t let me…
You have me, baby; you drive me crazy.
Rescued - Jack’s Mannequin
Oh I, I can tell she’s raising Hell to give to me,
and I’m thinking I’d prefer not to be rescued.
Oh, and say you’ll miss me; one last time, I’ll be strong.
Whatever you do, please, don’t get me rescued.
‘cause I’m feeling like I might need to be near you.
Whatever you do, please, don’t get me rescued…
Your Hand In Mine - Explosions In The Sky (Instrumental)
Make This Go On Forever - Snow Patrol
… I can only give you everything I’ve got.
I can’t be as sorry as you think I should,
But I still love you more than anyone else could…
The last girl and the last reason to make this last for as long as I could.
The first kiss and the first time that I felt connected to anything…
Skinny Love - Birdy
And I told you to be patient; I told you to be fine.
And I told you to be balanced, and I told you to be kind.
And in the morning I’ll be with you, but it will be a different kind,
‘cause I’ll be holding all the tickets and you’ll be owning all the fines.
Roslyn - Bon Iver & St. Vincent
You barely are blinking, wagging your face around.
When’d this become just a mortal home?
…Won’t let you talk me,
Won’t let you talk me down.
Will pull it taut; nothing let out.
The Departure - Michael Nyman (Instrumental)
I Need Some Sleep - Eels
I need some sleep; I can’t go on like this.
Tried counting sheep, but there’s one I always miss.
Everyone says I’m getting down too low.
Everyone says, ‘You’ve just gotta let it go.
Just gotta let it go.’
Sigh No More - Mumford & Sons
Serve God, love me, and mend. This is not the end.
Live unbruised, we are friends, and I’m sorry; I’m sorry…
There is a design, an alignment to cry for my heart to see
The beauty of love as it was made to be.
Love Remains The Same - Gavin Rossdale
… I shut the world away from here, drift to you; you’re all I hear
and everything we know fades to black.
Half the time, the world is ending.
Truth is, I am done pretending…
Drink to all that we have lost, mistakes we have made.
Everything will change, but love remains the same.
The Inner Light - Jay Chattaway (Instrumental)
everyone says i’m getting down too low.
everyone says, “you’ve just gotta let it go.”
Look After You: A Sherlock/John Post-Reichenbach fanmix
- Colorblind; Counting Crows
- Shattered; Trading Yesterday
- Brothers on a Hotel Bed; Death Cab For Cutie
- Nothing is Written; Mumford & Sons
- Release Me; Mae
- Look After You; The Fray
- New Years; Ohbijou
- Bonus instrumental: I Am Nowhere; Angelo Milli
- Bonus instrumental: The Portrait; James Horner
Download available here.
remember that you were loved by me
and that you made my life a happy one;
and there’s no tragedy in that.
The dropping of the mobile onto wood echoed throughout 221b, shattering the dusty silence. Following was the depression of the leather chair as it caught John Watson’s weak-kneed collapse. He could still see the light of his phone and the white text that sent his day into a whirlwind. Not only that, but the number on the phone, and the contact identified, sent him reeling into a deep, sad nostalgia he thought he had defeated.
The soldier took in slow breaths and forced his mind to halt. He begged himself to remain rational, to not get his hopes up. He had learned his lesson after three years of waiting. Why now? Why would he get a text now? John’s hands held his temples. His tired, listless eyes shut tight as his breaths began to shake. He’d almost wished he hadn’t read the text at all.
Soft noise outside the door alarmed him. He quickly jolted up from the chair and spun to face the stairwell. There hadn’t even been a knock. It simply sounded like brushing on the door; a presence he merely felt. John figured he was over-reacting, or perhaps hallucinating. To quell his curiosity, and to kill the damned hope in his stomach, however, he quietly paced to the doorframe and headed down the stairs.
John only made it halfway down when a slow silhouette overtook the door’s window. He drew in a sharp breath as though he had been hit and watched, still as death, as a tall, lean figure reached and brushed thin fingers against the window, as if greeting an old friend. Though the shadow lacked detail, John saw enough to make the hope pitted in his gut fly rampant. The curly hair, the details of the coat, the slenderness of the man’s fingers - all timed with the text he’d just received. He nearly stumbled against the wall, feeling weak once more. Was he losing his mind? Or was it all really happening as he’d dreamed it would?
There was only one way he would know. John inhaled another shaking breath and shifted away from the wall. He straightened his back and gave a short exhale before his feet carried him the rest of the way down. At the door, his fingers brushed the doorknob, a hesitant caress. He watched as the other man’s hand fell in the same direction on the opposite side, as if their hands were touching. John’s eyes fluttered shut. He imagined they were. In silence, he prayed to whatever god or fate there was that there was going to be someone on the other side; someone he’d been waiting for for three years.
From upstairs, the phone remained lit and the text message remained open, its letters seen by no one. The door to 221b creaked open slowly. A breathless greeting was exchanged between friends; a long-waited reunion three years in the making. John’s sob of his best friend’s name drifted into the flat as he rushed to embrace him.
The phone dimmed in time as the message, and John’s wish, came true.
I’m home. - SH
